Pain caused by grief does change with time but if…
Pain caused by grief does change with time but if we are not active in that process the pain doesn't change much ... it gets shut down ... What you block out harms you over time ... It's what happens when we allow the aspects of ourselves that we most fear attempt to heal us ... A lot of it has to do with control and shame ... To thrive in any competitive environment ... we feel that we have to show we are strong ... resilient and not vulnerable ... Also ... what we feel is invisible ... Grief working with our emotions is messy and chaotic ... This is uncomfortable and so we downsize and neatly arrange these feelings ... Because you feel powerless ... Grief pushes us off our center... Grief of a loved one becomes something to survive ... You are in survival mode during the process even though you may not perceive it that way ... The deep sadness can seem like it is threatening you in some way ... During grieving a lot of people want to become extra busy ... The super busyness is a type of armor... Working harder ... exercising more ... doing a lot more searching online for things to buy ... ( back to before the death ) ... There is a sort of blissful ignorance that when something hasn't happened to us we are in full control of everything ... There is the false thinking that life has a completely understandable order to it ... Having a devastating experience throws everything that has an order off kilter ... It might even be too much for you to see and hear other people out in the world laughing and having a good time ... You want to in mind return to when you were like that ... You are confronted with living in the world and at the same time suffering through something.