MUNICIPAL REGISTRY OF PENDING PERSONS
Department of Ontological Affairs
Form 42-B: Awaiting Existence Approval
File Date: Tuesday (or Thursday), Morning
NOTICE: The following individuals have been documented as existing in preliminary state. Full materialization pending.
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REGISTRY ENTRIES - BLOCK 1 (French Designation)
SILT, Marlène | Status: Partially Observed
Occupation: Table Service Personnel
Identifying Features: Carries melancholy sediment in regulation apron pockets (deep)
Existence Classification: 73% probable
DEBRIS, Jean | Status: Temporally Active
Pronunciation Note: zhahn-deh-BREE (elegance mandatory)
Occupation: Tuesday Sanitation Route
Documented Behaviors: Interrupts family gatherings with observations regarding regurgitation vs. disposal
Existence Classification: Verified Tuesdays only
BEAUMONT, C. | Status: Intermittent
Legal Address: The pause on Beautiful Mountain
Note: Subject exists exclusively between words (3am documentation)
Existence Classification: Grammatically dependent
ROUSSEAU, Troy | Status: Bridge-Adjacent
Fixed Location: Underpass Section 7
Personal Effects: Kant (or cant/can't) - unclear from field notes
Philosophical Classification: Primitive, pure reason pending
Existence Classification: Structurally supported
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REGISTRY ENTRIES - BLOCK 2 (Phenomena Designation)
WHY, Ohm Lie | Status: Container-Dependent
Identifying Features: Violin case (contents classified)
Warning: Do not request case opening
Substance Classification: Whimsical wreckage
Existence Classification: Schrodinger-adjacent
CHIN, Lint | Status: Accumulating
Location: Laundromat (various)
Activity: Accumulation (type unspecified)
Rate of Accumulation: Neutral flowing
Existence Classification: Incrementally increasing
DELACROIX, Mo | Status: Crossroads Mandatory
Jurisdiction: All intersections (specific ones unknown)
Species: Creature
Function: Presence
Existence Classification: Geographically triggered
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SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCES REGISTRY
PEARL, Margaret | Status: Architecturally Orphaned
Guard Post: Building demolished 1987
Current Activity: Continues reporting for duty
HR Note: Do not process termination
Existence Classification: Temporally displaced
VESSEL, Ourtour | Status: Legendary
Contents: [REDACTED]
Classification: Container/Person (both boxes checked)
Existence Classification: Legendary confirmed
GARDENER, Georges | Status: Agriculturally Deviant
Planting Material: Sparks (not seeds)
Soil Type: N/A
Growth Pattern: Follows/plants (documentation unclear)
Existence Classification: Seasonally impossible
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ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES:
1. Singer (unnamed) witnessed marble crime. Only hummed testimony. Inadmissible.
2. Multiple subjects reported living in "pauses between possibilities." Zoning variance pending.
3. Branch Holloway grows THROUGH (not around). Building Code Violation #447-A. May be responsible for this document's tree-posting.
4. All names carry world-insights per Regulation 12-C. Handle accordingly.
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FILED BY: Oyparaploo (or someone)
SIGNATURE: [Illegible/Possible]
WITNESS: Names becoming loud, demanding existence despite non-being
DEPARTMENT STAMP: [Coffee stain, possibly intentional]
WARNING: If you are reading this document and possess names of similar classification, report immediately to your nearest Department of Ontological Affairs or leave note in designated tree.
FORM VALIDITY: Expires upon full existence or permanent non-existence, whichever comes first.
